Faith, Hope and Love: Encouragement for Women

Life lessons learned from a woman, wife and mother living it.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real

Fear is a powerful thing. It can drive us to do positive things, but mostly it causes us to either do negative things, or to not do things we know that we should. God does not want us to be driven by fear. He wants us to fear him and what the outcome will be if we don’t give our hearts to him, which would be a life in eternal hell. He also wants us to fear his anger and the consequences that ensue when we disobey him. But God does not want us to be driven by fear of any kind. He wants the fear of the Lord to motivate us to do his will, but not to consume us. The fear of the Lord should motivate us to do the right thing, but what should motivate us even more is the love of God. The love that he has for us and the love that we have for him. We should love God so much that we want to do everything we can to please him because we are so grateful for everything he has done for us. But, you can never earn the love of God. It is unconditional and freely given. We will never be good enough to deserve his love. 1 John 4:18 tells us, “there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” So, the reason why fear drives us is because we are afraid of the consequences. For instance, someone who is afraid of heights, is not afraid of the elevation, but what will happen if they plummet to the earth. They are afraid of the fall. If you are afraid to confront someone about their sinful behavior, you are not afraid of actually calling them on it. You are afraid of what their reaction will be, or the consequences. Whenever we are afraid of something, what we are afraid of is the price we may have to pay for this certain action. Most of the time though, the outcome that we are afraid of has a very small chance of even happening. When we let this fear drive us and keep us out of the will of God, we have not been “made perfect in love.” That love that makes us able to do scary things, is the love of God. As time goes by, you will love God more and more and when you love someone, it is easier to put your trust in them.

Let’s say that you do love God, but you are still struggling with fear. What is one to do? Well, there are a few simple things that can be helpful. The first thing, is looking at the situation realistically. For instance, a woman who is pregnant may fear the loss of her baby. That is a legitimate fear because it does happen. But how often do miscarriages actually occur compared to how often the babies are born healthy. Most likely, the baby will be born healthy. This fear comes from a tendency in our society to concentrate on the negative. Instead of thinking about the millions of people who have been born throughout the centuries, we concentrate on the much smaller number of miscarriages. So, first you have to analyze your situation and think about what most likely will be the outcome. Climbing a million stairs to see the top of the empire state building most likely is going to result in you seeing a breathtaking view. It would be almost impossible to fall off because the fences are so high.
Something else that you can do is to imagine what if your worst fear really did happen. Say the pregnant woman did have a miscarriage. She would be very sad and grieving for a while, but with the love and strength of God, she would survive and probably would be a better person as a result of it. Yes, it would be hard, but she is not alone and she would get through it. Most people who do have miscarriages end up getting pregnant again within the next year. So maybe that thing that you are fearing the most, really wouldn’t be as bad as what you think. I am sure that it wouldn’t be pleasant, but you would get through it. Because God will never leave us nor forsake us, we never have to be afraid. The worst moments of your life are also the times that God is the most real. The worst times of my life have been the times when I have grown closer to God. And when I look at those times from the other side, I don’t want to go through them again. But I know that if I had to, I could because God would be by my side every second.
Another thing that helps me when I am afraid, is knowing that God has a plan for me and my family. I know that his plan is way bigger and greater than any plan I could ever dream up. Therefore, anything that happens that I don’t like is something that he has allowed for one reason or another and is for the best. So, if that woman did have a miscarriage, she could take comfort in knowing that it was for the best. Maybe that child would have grown up to turn their back on God, and this way the child will be in heaven. Maybe the delivery of this baby would have been too difficult and would have taken her life. Or maybe that child would have been so deformed and diseased that it would have required constant care for its entire life. We don’t know exactly why, but we do know that it is all part of God’s wonderful plan. To quote Corrie Ten Boom, “there is no pit that is so deep that God is not deeper still.” Whatever your situation may be, God has been there and he understands your tears. They say that rainstorms are just God crying tears of sorrow. When we cry, he cries with us. He is not looking down on you and saying, get over it. He feels your pain and he wants to ease your pain by showing you how great and wide and deep his love is.
I have saved the best for last. The most important thing to do to drive out fear, is the develop a trust in God that is greater than all your fears. Trusting God does not happen overnight. It grows with time as God shows his faithfulness to you throughout life. Knowing that God is greater than anything scary that could happen to you. Knowing that He alone has the power to change your situation in a split second if it were His will. Knowing that God knows all about the future when we don’t. Knowing that God understands what you are going on. We do not have the power within ourselves to change things, but God does. So we have to do the best that we can and then sit back and let Him take care of the rest of it. Trusting that whatever the outcome is, it is for the best. When you trust God, you can step out of your corner of safety and face the world. Trust in God gives you the strength to do the right thing. So many times we just sit around and do nothing out of fear. We know we should go talk to our neighbor about coming to church, but we don’t out of fear. We know we should tell the ladies to stop gossiping, but we don’t out of fear. Either fear or trust is going to dominate you. Start wherever you are today and begin to trust God. Take that step out of your comfort zone and you will be amazed at the results. In the end, you won’t regret it. Following are some Bible verses that may help you trust God more. Claim one of these for your situation and whenever you find fear starting to grip you, quote your verse. Pray that God will help you to overcome your fears.

Scriptures to Drive Out Fear

Psalm 27:1
"The Lord is my light and my salvation--
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life--
of whom shall I be afraid?"

Psalm 46:2
"Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,"

Psalm 112:7
"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord."

Proverbs 1:33
"but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at east, without fear of harm."

Proverbs 31:21
"When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet."

Isaiah 41:10
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Jeremiah 17:8
"He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaved are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Habakkuk 3:17-19
"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle int he stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."

1 Peter 3:6
"like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

1 Peter 3:14
"But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened."

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Please Sign My Guestbook!

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