A Great Parenting Book
I read an outstanding book on parenting, that goes along with this "priorities" issue. "How to Really Parent Your Child" by Ross Campbell is one of the best parenting books I have ever read. The thesis is to look at your childs behavior and determine if all of his needs are being met before disciplining. Many times a child acts out because they are hungry, tired, or feeling upset or unloved. The author says to take care of this need first and then if the behavior does not correct itself, then discipline. I have tried this and it has been very helpful. Many times children do not know how to express in words what is wrong, so they do something else to try to tell you. I just took my 4-year-old to the doctor for strep throat. He knew something was wrong but he couldn't explain it so he said his back hurt. The last time he had strep throat he complained of his legs hurting. Both times he was acting funny and had toileting accidents. He knew something was wrong, but he couldn't explain it. It is up to us, the parents, to figure that out and take care of it. When we don't, they feel unloved and unsafe and end up acting out more often. Try reading this book. It certainly can't hurt!
posted by Heidi @ 9:47 AM
1 Comments:
Hello,
I am a mother of three kids and one on the way..my oldest being 11. My husband and I have taken and led a class a few times called "Growing Kids Gods way." This is another fine tool in raising your children. It has scripture to backup all it discusses. However, it is a pretty long class (very indepth). I agree here with Heidi and will read the book suggested however, one thing that I have learned and have seen through my parenting years and from my sons friends and their families...many parents now a days, for some reason, feel guilty if they discipline their child whatsoever. This is a harmful way of thinking. The bible is very clear about this issue. I agree that kids are usually doing this out of some other reason that is bothering them but I also believe and have seen that kids simply sometimes want to know what their limits are. If a child is thirsting for discipline they will also act out. A child does not feel secure or loved when they do not know their boundaries or the boundaries are not consistent and I believe they sometimes just want to test to see if a mother or father care.
One of the hardest things for myself being a parent, is to be consistent...some days I just dont feel good, or the water on the stove is boiling over and the phone is ringing, and the doorbell is too, so you tell your child go ahead when they have learned "this is the rule not to." and they get mixed messages. This is dangerous! But I pray and I do the best I know how and so far my children are loving, considerate, and they think of others feelings....dont get me wrong..they have their days (like Heidi discussed) but things will work for the glory of God when we trust our children to him.
In a book I was reading it stated "When we move into a new house, we not only move in ourselves, we take all our stuff and our loved ones. But I am afraid there are some of Gods children who move into the dwelling place of God themselves, but by lack of faith leave their loved ones behind. More often that not it is their children that are so abandoned."
Hundreds of christians do this very thing. Every anxious thought which we indulge about our children proves that we have not taken them with us into the dwelling place of God.
What I mean is this, That if we trust for ourselves, we must trust for our loved ones also, especially our children. God is more truly their father than their earthly ones. If they are dear to us, they are far dearer to him. We cannot do anything better for them than to trust them into his care and hardly anything worse than to try to keep them in our own.
I am not the best at this but I know it is extremely important to do. Not everything is something FOR US to figure out about our children but to just give to God and trust him to do the rest.
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